• Hillaree

It's The Mental Health For Me

Hey y'all, we're about to get real personal this week. I'm talking about my mental health and I'm sharing this because I'm sure I am not the only one struggling with mental health. If even one person can relate and find some sort of inspiration, or hope, or anything at all, it will all be worth the discomfort I feel by sharing this.

Now without taking a direct flight to bad vibes-ville, I'll just say your girl has been stressed and felt mentally drained in all areas of her life. Being at work was almost unbearable, and being alone with my thoughts was just as scary. I had to give myself speeches in my car before entering the building at work, that everything was going to be okay and I will make it through. I was overwhelmed ALL. THE. TIME. I frequently had breakdowns and would just be sad waking up in the morning.

Fortunately, I have an observant mother that noticed the change in my demeanour, and scheduled a doctors appointment for me. The doctor ordered a 10 day medical leave due to my mental health and other medical concerns. I didn't ask the doctor for this nor did I expect him to grant me a medical leave, but I am so thankful he did! I had no idea how much I needed this break! I was so worried about letting my team down, but I've realized, that sure I didn't want to inconvenience my team, but at the end of the day I was letting myself down. And disappointing myself is simply no longer an option.

If you get anything from this post, just know you must put yourself first...always, because if you're not okay both mentally and physically, it will eventually impact all other areas of your life. We can get so intertwined with our jobs, relationships, and other responsibilities, but what good are those things if you can barely function? Take the day if you need it. We live in a country where companies legally must grant you mental health days and medical leaves when needed, without jeopardizing your job.

You're probably wondering...how did you spend your mental health leave? I rested...it was so nice to give my body some much needed rest. I looked into CBT options and will hopefully be starting sessions soon! I had a 'me day' and did whatever I wanted; I did a workout at Sweat & Tonic, and treated myself to an appy, main, and dessert at a new restaurant. It felt so nice to just spend time with myself, without feeling rushed. I definitely plan to have 'me days' more frequently once I return to work. Just like how we all make time for other things, schedule in time to take care of yourself. Self care is not selfish.

If there is one more thing you can take away from this post; have a strong group of people that you trust. It was so helpful to have people to just vent to, talk with, and laugh with while going through this time. Even if we weren't directly talking about my stressors, it was just amazing to talk to the people I value the most.

I'm going to keep working on me, but I want you to keep working on you too. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Here's to life getting easier a bit each day.


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